Yesterday was hard. Too hard. I had a headache all day, work was crazy busy, I was hungry, tired sore.... You name it.
By the time I got home the last thing I wanted to do was make dinner, make today's breakfast and lunch, do my laundry.....Work out.
So when I got home, I forced myself to take the stairs up, which is something I normally avoid like the plague. Got upstairs grabbed my laundry and down the stairs, back up the stairs, and repeat twice more until it was all done. I kept telling my self every hard step was worth it.
I made the effort to not snack before dinner, although I wanted to eat the whole bag of chips that have been sitting on top of the fridge staring at me all week. Of course this meant that I made a huge salad for dinner, but I am alright with that.
Sitting there after having walked my dog, the last thing I felt like was working out. I was dreading it more then I thought I would because I had told myself that I had to do the harder work out, not the less intense cardio. (So looking forward to that tonight!).
I put my runners on with dread, and slipped the DVD in, thinking "Its okay... last time you did 3 out of 6 circuits, today lets try for 4!!" So I started. Circuit one not so bad, circuit 2 getting warm, circuit three okay now that burns, but then out of no where I found energy I did not know that I had. Circuit 4 push a little harder circuit 5 sweating all over the place. And here, I found myself facing the beginning of circuit 6. I have never made it that far thorough the work out before. I was tired, sweaty, and sore, I thought Hey wont it feel good to actually do the whole workout? So I pushed myself through the jumping jacks, and the lateral arm raises, and the planks, to finally find myself at the end of a finished work out.
I have to admit I was proud of myself. Its a goal I planed on hitting in a week or so, but never did I imagine after only 3 days I was still pushing Strong, and finding the exercise and physical movement at least a little bit better. I still look ridiculous when moving I'm forever grateful my roommate works nights so I have some time to myself and I know I am not doing some of the movements like squats nearly as deep or strong as they do on the DVD, but I'm going to work up to that.
Its hard starting out at the weight I am to exercise. You cannot move, you have no balance, breathing is a difficulty, and Strong movements like jumping jacks just plain hurt! I know I am not doing the move correctly and getting the full potential from them, but I figure that until the time that I am physically able to preform correctly, any movement must be good for me. Now this of course does not mean I can just half ass my work out. NO! I am still pushing myself as far as I can go. Doing as many of those jumping jacks or getting as deep into those squats as I can. Its not easy but I'm really am trying.
Hahaha so my quick little blurb about being tired yesterday turned into half a book! Come on day four....
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Day 2
So here I am. I wont be posting this often once I actually get into the swing of the diet, but for the first bit Ill be around here often!
So this morning I feel kind of like I got into a fight in a pub last night, and took one to many kicks to the ribs. This is clearly what happens when you go from never exercising to doing it two days in a row. I have not yet figured out how I am going to move at all tonight when I attempt to go at it again.
So other then my traitorous body protesting the work I am trying to do here, things are going well. Food yesterday was great. I enjoyed all three meals, and didn't touch a planed snack. I also did not cheat, which in it's self is pretty fantastic. I was in a mall yesterday, and walked right through the food court with out a single wistful glance. I can only hope this will be a re-occurring trend.
I am of course making a very concious effort to consume all eight glasses of water in my day. In the past this has always been hard for me to do. I just don't ever seem to be thirsty enough to consume all that liquid. Yesterday I found myself drinking more then what was necessary for my day, and I am not 100% sure the reason behind this. I wonder if it is a result of the way I am eating, the increase of physical activity, a combination of both.... Or maybe its all in my head.
So this morning I feel kind of like I got into a fight in a pub last night, and took one to many kicks to the ribs. This is clearly what happens when you go from never exercising to doing it two days in a row. I have not yet figured out how I am going to move at all tonight when I attempt to go at it again.
So other then my traitorous body protesting the work I am trying to do here, things are going well. Food yesterday was great. I enjoyed all three meals, and didn't touch a planed snack. I also did not cheat, which in it's self is pretty fantastic. I was in a mall yesterday, and walked right through the food court with out a single wistful glance. I can only hope this will be a re-occurring trend.
I am of course making a very concious effort to consume all eight glasses of water in my day. In the past this has always been hard for me to do. I just don't ever seem to be thirsty enough to consume all that liquid. Yesterday I found myself drinking more then what was necessary for my day, and I am not 100% sure the reason behind this. I wonder if it is a result of the way I am eating, the increase of physical activity, a combination of both.... Or maybe its all in my head.
Monday, December 3, 2012
Day 1
Good Morning all!
Today is day one of my new diet. I have chosen Atkins disclaimer: I am by no means a doctor and any/all diets should be run by yours before you attempt them. I am also not getting any sort of payment from Atkins. This is just personal preference. for this diet attempt. I have tried a lot of other diets, like calorie counting, the soup diet, the Raw diet, and of course the Atkins before. I had some success at the age of 18 doing this one, and I lost about 30 pounds. That being said I put every single one of those back on.... and more!
So last night I made the following video, as sort of my confession before starting this lifestyle change. I want to look back on this video a year from now and see just how far I have managed to come!
I also took some before pictures, which I have not yet got the courage to Post, but maybe after I see some success I will put them up.
Now of course every good diet plan also needs a good exercise plan, because lets face it, they go hand in hand if you want to lose weight. I have a DVD. I have done this DVD before... and every time I do it Miss Jillian Michaels kicks my fat ass to the curb. I CANNOT at this point finish the work out. Not even close. That woman knows how to beat a person into shape.
So I plan on doing at least a little bit of her work out every night, added to the amount of walking I do as I have no car, longer and faster walks with the dog, and of course taking the stairs. All in all it should be enough of a low-impact start.
Clearly at my weight I am not going to start running track any time soon, but with enough low impact spaced through out my day the weight should come off a little bit. I will, with the DVD workout get my bit of cardio, which I will get into in another post!
Today is day one of my new diet. I have chosen Atkins disclaimer: I am by no means a doctor and any/all diets should be run by yours before you attempt them. I am also not getting any sort of payment from Atkins. This is just personal preference. for this diet attempt. I have tried a lot of other diets, like calorie counting, the soup diet, the Raw diet, and of course the Atkins before. I had some success at the age of 18 doing this one, and I lost about 30 pounds. That being said I put every single one of those back on.... and more!
So last night I made the following video, as sort of my confession before starting this lifestyle change. I want to look back on this video a year from now and see just how far I have managed to come!
I also took some before pictures, which I have not yet got the courage to Post, but maybe after I see some success I will put them up.
Now of course every good diet plan also needs a good exercise plan, because lets face it, they go hand in hand if you want to lose weight. I have a DVD. I have done this DVD before... and every time I do it Miss Jillian Michaels kicks my fat ass to the curb. I CANNOT at this point finish the work out. Not even close. That woman knows how to beat a person into shape.
So I plan on doing at least a little bit of her work out every night, added to the amount of walking I do as I have no car, longer and faster walks with the dog, and of course taking the stairs. All in all it should be enough of a low-impact start.
Clearly at my weight I am not going to start running track any time soon, but with enough low impact spaced through out my day the weight should come off a little bit. I will, with the DVD workout get my bit of cardio, which I will get into in another post!
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Welcome
Hello out there!!!
This blog is for me, and maybe for you too. If you are that girl (or boy of course) that has lived their whole life, as to put it honestly, Fat... Then here's to you!
Here's to you when you think that everyone is staring at you, when no one wants to sit next to you on the bus. When you feel every one is judging you with every bite of your lunch. Here's to you when you feel out of place walking through a mall because you know that not a single store sells your size.
I'm going to stay honest here, its really the only way to go. Here is my story, and I am sure its pretty much the same as all of yours!
Ive always been big, starting right from Primary school years. I was never thin and athletic like all the other girls my age. I started out chunky, and man oh man was I chunky. I wore the usual tights and sweaters that all other girls matched with their scrunchies in the 90's but always a bigger size. Changing for gym in the locker room? Still as traumatizing now as it was all those years ago.
High school, while I put on more weight wasn't horrible. I had my friends and my share of boyfriends, but I was never comfortable in my own skin. Standing in front of a mirror I would ask myself "Does this make me look fat? Of course it does, need to change!" and sadly the answer should have been "NO... Being fat makes you look fat".
After re-reading that last sentence, I feel the need to stop right here and explain. I am not bashing myself here, and really I mean it. I am not looking for pity, and I am certainly not hatting on myself. I am just being completely honest. According to doctors in North America I am Very Obese. I get that, and agree, and after many years of avoiding the word I am finally in a place in my life I can say it.... I AM Fat, Fat, Fat.
So back on track. After an uncomfortable Prom in a dress that made me feel like a blimp it was off to college, where living on Rez I put on a freshman 50 rather then 15. Not going to lie, college was fun, and the food was fast, and I didn't regret a single bite.
So here I am 5 years later sitting at... (here goes nothing) 265 pounds. Not healthy and certainly not happy. So I figure this is the last major thing I need to do in my life. I love where I am living, I have a good job, and the best little puppy a woman could ask for and I ask myself what is left? Well looking in mirror it is clear that the only thing that could make it or break it is my health.
At my age you would think its a vanity thing, and it should be. But really? I don't give a damn what others think. What I care about now is getting healthy. For the longest time it was about what everyone else thought of me, and I think that may be the reason that I have never succeeded in losing weight. I was doing it for everyone BUT myself.
Now is the time for me, and maybe it will be the time for you. Who knows? So I have decided to document this journey in a blog. Who knows maybe it will give me the strength to do what I so desperately need.
Lose the load.
This blog is for me, and maybe for you too. If you are that girl (or boy of course) that has lived their whole life, as to put it honestly, Fat... Then here's to you!
Here's to you when you think that everyone is staring at you, when no one wants to sit next to you on the bus. When you feel every one is judging you with every bite of your lunch. Here's to you when you feel out of place walking through a mall because you know that not a single store sells your size.
I'm going to stay honest here, its really the only way to go. Here is my story, and I am sure its pretty much the same as all of yours!
Ive always been big, starting right from Primary school years. I was never thin and athletic like all the other girls my age. I started out chunky, and man oh man was I chunky. I wore the usual tights and sweaters that all other girls matched with their scrunchies in the 90's but always a bigger size. Changing for gym in the locker room? Still as traumatizing now as it was all those years ago.
High school, while I put on more weight wasn't horrible. I had my friends and my share of boyfriends, but I was never comfortable in my own skin. Standing in front of a mirror I would ask myself "Does this make me look fat? Of course it does, need to change!" and sadly the answer should have been "NO... Being fat makes you look fat".
After re-reading that last sentence, I feel the need to stop right here and explain. I am not bashing myself here, and really I mean it. I am not looking for pity, and I am certainly not hatting on myself. I am just being completely honest. According to doctors in North America I am Very Obese. I get that, and agree, and after many years of avoiding the word I am finally in a place in my life I can say it.... I AM Fat, Fat, Fat.
So back on track. After an uncomfortable Prom in a dress that made me feel like a blimp it was off to college, where living on Rez I put on a freshman 50 rather then 15. Not going to lie, college was fun, and the food was fast, and I didn't regret a single bite.
So here I am 5 years later sitting at... (here goes nothing) 265 pounds. Not healthy and certainly not happy. So I figure this is the last major thing I need to do in my life. I love where I am living, I have a good job, and the best little puppy a woman could ask for and I ask myself what is left? Well looking in mirror it is clear that the only thing that could make it or break it is my health.
At my age you would think its a vanity thing, and it should be. But really? I don't give a damn what others think. What I care about now is getting healthy. For the longest time it was about what everyone else thought of me, and I think that may be the reason that I have never succeeded in losing weight. I was doing it for everyone BUT myself.
Now is the time for me, and maybe it will be the time for you. Who knows? So I have decided to document this journey in a blog. Who knows maybe it will give me the strength to do what I so desperately need.
Lose the load.
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